Wanting More

You hear the word “want” and you picture something you don’t have.You want peace in your home, everyone to get a long or the fighting to stop. I remember crossing my fingers and toes, praying nonstop that the next visit would feel normal; that I could feel like hearts were changing; for all of us. And then nothing. It was the same messy visit.

If you believe these things are out of reach, then wanting becomes painful. You daydream about the “normal” family your friend has and the pain begins to well up again.

Other times, you feel guilty for wanting.

You think if you want things, then it means you aren’t appreciative of what you already have; like an amazing husband. Because you know your friends’ husband is addicted to pornography and that’s an issue you don’t ever want to experience.

Wanting doesn’t have to mean any of this.

You can want the things you already have (which feels amazing by the way). Your amazing husband, your own children, family time together and family time apart.

It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want for more. You can want other things as well and know that your joy and happiness doesn’t depend on getting them. You can still want peace in your home and mutual understanding but also feel joy as those things develop.

You don’t have to be unhappy or in pain to want something different. That’s just a trick your mind plays on you. You can change that.

You can just want what you want and then go get it.

Wanting is what keeps us evolving and contributing. Wanting that peace is what causes you to dig deep and that digging deep, it brings learning and growth. I think that’s the secret to all of this.