Why Things Aren’t Changing

It’s always the same. Nothing ever changes. It’s the same disagreements. The same complaints and it’s getting old.

The reason things don’t change is because of a thought in our minds.

• They don’t listen.
• He doesn’t understand.
• They are rude.
• They don’t want to be here.
• They ignore me.

All thoughts that prohibit change.

Is it really that simple? Yes.

The reason you do something or don’t do something is based on a feeling you want to feel. If you’re having some of the thoughts listed above, then you’re probably feeling discouraged, frustrated, disappointed or irritated. None of those feelings are going to create change. Those feelings will never motivate you to do something different.

You think it’s because of the work you have to do or the time it takes. It never is. It’s because of a thought you’re having right now.

That thought is either driving or stalling the change you seek by the feeling it creates.

If you aren’t currently taking action, it’s because of your current thoughts. Find that thought now. Find the feeling it’s causing.

As soon as the boys would drag themselves through the door, I would think, “They don’t even want to be here.” So naturally, I would feel uncomfortable, stressed or even irritated. Those feelings did not encourage me to do things differently. I stayed in the same, messed up pattern.

How you feel is ultimately determined by you. It is determined by what you choose to think.

How do you make change? You change your thoughts. I call this process the Self Coaching Model.

You don’t change your thoughts too quickly. You first have to notice them. Pay attention to them. Become aware.

Once you’ve captured what they are, you can ask yourself how you want to feel to make your change and do things differently. How do you think you’ll feel once you accomplish that change? That feeling, right there, the one you just thought of…it’s available to you right now. It’s the one you need to drive your action.

Decide the feeling you want to drive the action you need to take. Find the thought to think that creates the feeling.

I guarantee, the action will follow.